Understanding Grief

The death of a loved one is life's most painful event. People's reactions to death remain one of society's least understood and most off-limits topics for discussion.

When we experience a major loss, grief is the normal and natural way our mind and body react. Everyone grieves differently.

There has been an ever-increasing desire to expand traditional roles beyond "at-need" and "pre-need" services into "after-need" or post funeral services for the bereaved.

Grief upon the loss of a pet is a normal response, and a very individual one. For some people, grieving for a pet who has died may be a more difficult process than grieving for a human loved one. One reason is that the support network of understanding and caring people may be smaller. If a person has lost a human loved one, the friends, family, co-workers, etc., will all be understanding. They may send cards, flowers, and offer food and companionship. This is often not the case when a pet dies. A funeral or memorial service for the deceased person will bring people together to provide mutual support and a sense of closure. Again, in most cases, this does not occur upon the death of a pet. Hurtful comments such as 'Don't be so upset,' 'It was only a cat,' and 'You can get another one,' may add to the grief and feeling of isolation and loneliness.

Some people struggle to understand and communicate their emotions surrounding death and grief. When a loved one dies, they dive into planning services, organizing households or closing finances. However, the silence can be deafening when it comes to the avoidance of conversations about drug-related deaths.

Children Express Grief in Their Own Way A hundred years ago death was much more a natural part of a child’s experience. Grandparents often lived with families, so children witnessed them growing older and dying. Modern medicine has made strides in reducing infant and child mortality and has prolonged life expectancy for the elderly, so children witness fewer deaths. More and more elderly die in nursing homes and hospitals, outside the home environment. The exclusion of death from children’s lives requires us to teach them explicitly about death and grief.

Unaddressed grief costs not only businesses, but also the healthcare system at large. Grief reduces productivity due to absenteeism, mistakes, turnover and increased use of health benefits. As reported by the Wall Street Journal in November 2002, the annual cost of death-related grief to American business in lost productivity is estimated to exceed $37.6 billion. So aside from compassion for grieving employees, there is a business case to be made for addressing workplace grief head on. American Hospice Foundation has made significant contributions toward this ideal workplace. Since launching its Grief at Work public awareness campaign in 1998, more than 3,000 employers have utilized AHF’s publications for employees and managers.